A concept - a holiday tree

Christmas has come and gone...well sort of gone. Our Christmas Tree is still up and the lights on the house are still there too, and if a person listens to my wife they would believe both the tree and the lights will be there until next Christmas.

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Driving a Mini Cooper

My wife and I bought a small car...a really small car...a Mini Cooper. For those of you who aren't familiar with the smalness of this car, when I am driving it, I look up to VolkswagonBeetles. Heck, when I am drivng it, I look up to regular beetles - the insects.

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Snoring a bother (a crime?)

It was a real sonic boom the other night, honestly. It wasn't me. It really wasn't. I have witnesses. OK, OK, I might snore a little bit. Although I am still hesitant to admit I do. I stayed up all night the other night to see if I snored, and I didn't snore once.

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A couple theories about food

I love food. When I was overseas, I literally used to dream about the stuff. I would have these dreams about running across a beautiful white sand beach under swaying coconut palms pursuing a bikini clad Big Mac or Big Beef Burrito Supreme.

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Too many choices is rough

The world is not an easy place for an indecisive person. Believe me, I know.

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New Years/spelling, a strange combination

New Years is a confusing time of year for me. I don't throw things away very well (you should see my collection of earth shoes and bell-bottom pants) and that goes for years also.

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Maven of motorcycle madness

A guy down the block just bought a motorcycle, and I'm thinking more and more about getting a motorcycle of my very own.

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Reality shows hit the real world

"Survivor," "The Real World," "Big Brother," "Fear Factor" and so on and so on. The new television season is about to begin and the staple again this year seems to be even more "reality" shows. I have a bit of trouble with them.

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Dining delights of TV dinners

My wife and I eat out a great deal, so we enjoy the wide variety of restaurants in our area. My wife contends that we would not eat out so much if I would not try to cook as frequently as I do.

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Because we're shallow, that's why

The other day I was visiting with a woman I know, and she said something to the effect that she didn't understand men. At first I thought I was mumbling again, but then I realized that she wasn't talking about me specifically but my gender in general.

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Questions about 'Winter Sports'

Most people these days know what an oxymoron is, but for those who don't, it is two words or phrases that seemingly do not go together. Things like jumbo shrimp, athletic scholarship, government tax cut - things like that.

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Valentine's Day - A heartbreaker

Valentine's Day has finally arrived. I know in my heart of hearts that every year at this time most women remember a special romantic time with flowers, candy, soft music and the one person they love.

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Christmas shopping woes

I admit it. I hate Christmas shopping. It would make sense if people wanted intelligent gifts but none of the people I buy for seem to want that. Although my wife contends that my Christmas gifts may not be that intelligent.

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A different kind of football

When they look at me, a lot of people have problems believing I played football both in high school and college. It's true. I did. Not well, I grant you, but I did play.

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Finding a costume...

OK, the World Series is going strong, day-light savings time will soon begin, we are in the middle of one of the most heated election battles in the history of the planet and guess what this column is going to be about today?

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A political thought or two

Political season is in high gear again. It is a weird sort of time of year for most of us, I think.

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School's not really so awful

The other day I came out of the office and found a youth of about 10 years old sitting on the curb clearly dejected about something.

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Olympic fever fans fan's flame

With the Olympics upon us, I think it is normal with the male of our species (homo-couchitus) to contemplate just what event he would enter if he were called upon to represent the United States in this international competition being held in China.

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Newsvine - My war with electronic machines

What's the name of your car?

Many psychologists say that in America our cars define us - which when you think about it, is kind of frightening. I mean, look at the car names for heaven's sake.

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'You can't miss it'

I have never liked the words, "You can't miss it," but I have learned to really, really hate them lately.

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A very taxing time of the year

Well, Income tax day has come and gone and once again my wife has sworn not to let me near our income tax forms next year. In the past, the members of the Internal Revenue Service have requested much the same.

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What time did you say it was?

"They" are out to get us! Don't you just love using "They" to blame everything on? When I was little, I used to blame everything on my big sister.

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Political thoughts

I admit I am not too politically savvy. I mean, you're reading the thoughts of a man who picked Herbert Hoover to win the last Presidential election, and he had been dead for 60 years.

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Clueless dressing

I really wish people would tell me when I am in style. I mean, it happens so rarely that I would like to be kept apprised.

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TV Hagenah

Articles Posted: 33
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Member Since: 1/2006Last Seen: 1/04/2012

TV (his real name) Hagenah is a middle-aged sometime journalist who is convinced that the world is insane and is trying to survive in it.